Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize