So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
