Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
