Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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