well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize