So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
This house was built for laser tag.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize