well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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