smell my finger.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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