If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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