you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
