so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
