Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
