my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
