i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You dont lie about slip and slides
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
