I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
