dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
