Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
