in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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