great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You can't just leave with hair like that
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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