i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
