Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
