My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
