all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
