I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We are all done wearing pants today
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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