; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize