Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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