there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
