god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
