she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
