You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
