What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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