my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
