He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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