I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
