Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize