I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
This house was built for laser tag.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
