Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
