maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Never joke about your clitoris.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize