C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
