I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize