I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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