so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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