I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
