like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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