I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
