If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize