it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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