dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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