Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
