so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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