that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He did a backflip because drugs
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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