Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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