god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
No subtext here. People are naked.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
