so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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