Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
