i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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