also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
