You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
wow bdsm is so cute
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
