im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
