Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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