we have officially lost it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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