Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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