Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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