I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
