After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
